RESOURCE PAGE

  • Nope. You don't have to lead a group to be in one. Here's where to start:

    Let us help you find one. On the Small Groups page, click the tile that says "Looking for a Group?" and tell us what days and times actually work for you. That's the fastest way to get connected — and when we hear the same request from several couples, that often becomes a brand-new group.

    Check back. New groups are being added weekly all through the fall, and the ones listed today aren't the only ones that will be available.

    If childcare is part of the timing problem, we've got you covered. Orchard offers a Childcare Supplement for anyone joining or leading a group. Sometimes "no good time" is really "no good plan for the kids."

    And if you ever do consider it — leading here probably isn't what your husband is picturing. Our groups are series discussion groups: no prep, no homework, no teaching. You watch the weekend message in person or online, then use the questions we hand you. A leader isn't the Bible answer person — they're the one who says, "let's get started" and "who wants to go next." Plenty of couples split the load: one couple hosts the house, another facilitates the conversation. And you're never on your own — we walk with every leader through Leader Orientation and provide personal support.

    So, no — leading isn't the price of belonging. Reach out and let us help you find your people. We're not meant to do life alone.

    Here’s one resource you might want to check out from Dr. Greg Smalley on why living in community is essential to keeping a strong marriage, especially when it’s being tested:

    https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/your-marriage-needs-community/

  • Short answer: the research is real, but the famous number floating around isn't.

    You've probably seen the claim that only 1 in 1,152 praying couples ever divorce. It gets repeated constantly — but nobody can point to the actual study. It's usually credited to a 1997 Gallup poll that, as far as anyone can tell, doesn't exist. We'd rather tell you the truth than a great-sounding stat.

    Here's what researchers have found:

    Shared faith shows up in the data. In a study of couples across the country, researchers at the Institute for Family Studies found that 78% of couples who pray together almost every week or more report being very or extremely happy, compared to 61% of those who don't. In fact, shared prayer turned out to be a stronger predictor of relationship quality than denomination, church attendance, or even shared church friendships. Here’s Lifeway Research’s summary of the same study.

    And prayer seems to actually change the person praying. Researchers at Florida State ran experiments where people were randomly assigned to pray for their partner. Those who prayed daily for their partner over four weeks showed lower levels of straying toward someone else than people assigned to think positive thoughts about their partner or do a neutral activity. Outside observers — not the participants themselves — rated people who prayed for their partner as behaving more positively toward them.

    So, honestly: praying together isn't a divorce-proof vest. It's a habit that slowly changes how you see each other. As researcher Brad Wilcox puts it, prayer helps couples handle stress, keeps them focused on shared hopes, and gives them a constructive way to face problems together.

    Why does it work? Because it's almost impossible to hold a grudge against someone you just asked God to bless. Prayer drags the hidden stuff into the open — your fears, your money, your kids, your failures — and puts it in front of God while your spouse is listening. That's not a religious ritual. That's intimacy.

    So how do you start?

    • Go embarrassingly small. Sixty seconds. Not thirty minutes. The couples who last aren't the most eloquent — they're the most consistent.

    • Attach it to something you already do. Before you turn out the light. In the car before you pull out of the driveway. Over coffee. New habits need a hook.

    • Pray for each other, not just about stuff. "God, help her with tomorrow" hits different than "bless our week."

    • One person can carry it. If one of you freezes up out loud, that's fine — one prays, one says amen. Nobody's grading this.

    • Never preach through prayer. If a prayer ever starts with "Lord, help my husband to finally…" — stop. Prayer isn't a delivery system for your argument.

    • Use words that aren't yours when you're empty. Pray a Psalm. Pray the Lord's Prayer. Read it right off your phone.

    • Try it mid-conflict. Four words: "Can we pray first?" It won't fix the disagreement, but it changes who you're facing it in front of.

    Here’s a RightNow Media resources on the Art of Marriage to help you explore new levels of intimacy, communication, and connection with your spouse, whether you’re a newlywed or have been married for decades:

    https://app.rightnowmedia.org/en/content/details/794346

    And if your spouse isn't there yet? Pray for them on your own. That's exactly what the research above measured — and it changed the people who did it, whether or not their partner ever joined in. Start there. No pressure, no ultimatums.

    Finally — some of you have prayed hard and still lost a marriage. That's not a failure of faith or a broken formula, and we're not going to pretend otherwise. If that's you, our Care team would love to walk with you.

  • We won't share details from real Orchard groups — what happens in a group stays in the group. But we'll tell you the most famous small group conflict in Christian history.

    Paul and Barnabas. Two of the most effective leaders in the early church. They'd planted churches together, been run out of towns together, been mistaken for actual gods together. And they blew up over a staffing decision. Barnabas wanted to bring John Mark on the next trip. Paul refused, because Mark had bailed on them once before. Luke doesn't soften it — he says the disagreement was so sharp they split up and went separate directions (Acts 15:36-41).

    Here's what we notice. Neither one quit on Jesus, and neither one quit on the church. Barnabas took Mark and kept going. Paul took Silas and kept going. And years later Paul writes from prison and asks for Mark by name, because Mark had become useful to him (2 Timothy 4:11). The rupture wasn't the end of the story.

    Paul also wrote to two women in Philippi, Euodia and Syntyche, and basically said in front of the whole church: work it out — and then asked a third person to step in and help them (Philippians 4:2-3).

    So what does that mean for a small group?

    Conflict isn't a sign a group failed. It's a sign the group got real enough for people to have something at stake. Every group that goes past surface level eventually hits something — someone dominates the conversation, someone shares a view that lands hard, someone feels judged, someone quietly stops showing up.

    Here's how we handle it at Orchard:

    • Go directly and privately first. Jesus was specific about this: if you have something against someone, go to them — not to the group text, not to the person you're closest to in the group (Matthew 18:15). Most conflict dies right here.

    • Bring in one person if that doesn't work. Not to gang up. To help both people actually hear each other (Matthew 18:16).

    • Leaders: address it early and gently. You don't have to be a therapist. "How do you feel our conversations are going lately?" is often enough to bring the real thing into the open before it hardens.

    • Contact us in. This is what the Small Groups team at Orchard is here for. You are not the last line of defense for your group, and asking for help isn't failure — it's what a healthy leader does.

    • Sometimes the loving move is a split. Paul and Barnabas ended up with two missions instead of one. If a group needs to become two groups, or a person needs a different group, that isn't a defeat. Nobody has to pretend.

    One important exception. If someone in your group is being harassed, threatened, or harmed — or if you're worried about someone's safety — that is not "conflict to work out." Contact us or our Care team immediately. Don't handle that one on your own.

    Nobody's perfect. Everyone's welcome. That second sentence gets a lot harder when the person in the circle is the one who annoys you — which is exactly the point. It just may be the thing God is using to grow you.

  • First — you're not wrong and thank you for asking. Communion in the New Testament is something the church does together. When Paul writes about it, he says it five different ways: when you come together. He even tells the Corinthians that if they're going to eat on their own schedule without waiting for each other, they should just eat at home — because what they're doing has stopped being the Lord's Supper (1 Corinthians 11:20-33). Your instinct that it's "better together" is the same instinct Paul had.

    So yes, we do take communion corporately. As a church family, we share it together at least twice a year — usually at one of our Night of Worship gatherings and on Palm Sunday. If you've been with us a few months, you've simply landed between them. That's on us for not making the dates easier to find, and we're glad you spoke up.

    Here at Orchard, we believe those who partake of communion should be a born-again believer (i.e., a Christian) who has followed the Lord in believer’s baptism and are striving to walk in fellowship with Him (see  Acts 2:42-46; 1 Corinthians 11:23-29).

    So, what are the cups by the door for? They're not a replacement for the table — they're an extra door into it. Some weeks a message lands hard and someone needs to respond right then through communion. Some families want to take it together at their own kitchen table. Some folks are homebound or in recovery and can't be here. The cups make communion possible any time. But they were never meant to be the only way we do this, and they aren't.

    A great option: if you're in a Small Group, communion with your group is a beautiful thing — a handful of believers, around a table, remembering Jesus together. That's about as close to the New Testament picture as it gets.

    And if you'd like to talk with someone on our team — please do. Call the office at 303.373.2828 or email pastor@orchard.church. Questions like yours make us better.